The Sweet Smell of….. Petrochemicals?

Take a Breath!

FIRE!!

I was recently sharing a few horror stories when someone suggested I write a book about some of the strange homes I’ve encountered while being contacted to remove mold and odors. Here are a few that contained odor levels at level DEFCOM 5: The rabbit home: The evicted tenant had a bedroom where he bred rabbits. (Actually the rabbits bred themselves). Over 150 rabbits. Investor had to tear the home down to its bones to remove 50% of the stink, which was still remained very rancid. My 24 hour treatment took care of the rest. The home sold quickly upon completion. Abandoned dogs: Imagine the inhumanity of leaving pets behind. The trashy apartment evaders left two dogs in their apartment with no utilities or notice to management. I still can’t wrap my head around leaving animals behind to starve to death. I provided my 24 service to allow maintenance safe entry. A 2nd service was provided after complete clean up. Horders : Two brothers, both on the spectrum horded garbage in their apartment. I entered after the unit was cleaned. The odor was still beyond description. (fecal matter from pest infestation). Cats, not the musical: one house in particular required tearing everything down to the studs. Five treatments later the home sold $6k above asking price. Meth : An overnight guest at a hotel in Navasota, Texas cooked Meth in his room. The hotel owner spent thousands prior to my visit. The room was vacant for over a year. The hotelier was losing tens of thousands of dollars. I solved the issue in 3 hours. Pet Pig: Not exactly Arnold, but close. The apartment dweller kept a very cute pig that grew into a full blown swine. The unit was literally a pig sty. The condo from hell : A condo in Kemah where tobacco odor kept reappearing. I offer 100% satisfaction, therefore I treated 3 times before discovering the downstairs neighbor was a chain smoker and they shared an a/c vent. A flooded home: I went to the Friendswood home to provide a mold treatment for the new buyer. I stepped in water upon entering the home. A water heater burst the day after the inspection and the day before closing. I immediately shut off the main water cutoff and called the listing agent and buyers. Two weeks later, I provided my treatment and the home closed. Imagine buying a home and making an insurance claim the same day? Thankfully that was thwarted! Dead rat : Homeowner had a dead rat decomposing in an interior wall. I suggested he cut sheetrock and remove the carcass. I sprayed my chemical in the hole, the odor was immediately gone. Total time of service; 10 seconds. Cost to homeowner; free. Foul fish : A homeowner loved cooking exotic dishes using many Middle Eastern spices. Unfortunately, the food smell engulfed the entire home. (Or fortunately for me!). Mission accomplished! Volatile Organic Compounds : After Hurricane Harvey, I received several calls from homeowners who excitedly returned to their newly reconstructed homes, only to experience respiratory issues. All building materials contain dangerous volatile organic compounds. My treatment converted unhealthy homes to healthy homes. Plus, saving thousands of dollars of medical bills, and destroying thousands of dangerous carcinogens. Plug-In deodorizers : You can run but you can’t hide. A deodorizer in every room is a clear sign of a homeowner masking something. I entered one home that had a dead houseplant next to one. One homeowner told me she had 3 in her apartment and she suspected it killed her cat. Another homeowner told me her home caught fire from a forgotten plug-in left in a spare bedroom. Summary: All odors are a result of a bacterial gas-off. A smelly home is not a healthy home. Please email me for more info at ed@hygienitechsolutions.com Thank you!

Yes MC Hammer, You Can Touch This! A few months ago I met with my friendly competitor to borrow his fogger. At the height of COVID-19, foggers were on a 90 day backlog. As Don Corleone once said, “Keep your friends close and your enemies closer.” My friendly competitor must have watched The God Father too! What are the odds? Anyway, he generously allowed me to borrower his expensive sprayer as we were now brother-in-arms fighting the deadly COVID virus. I drove to his turf and met him in a restaurant where he was lunching with his preacher. My friend-emy stood as I walked into the restaurant and greeted me with a handshake. He then introduced me to his lunch mate. I extended my hand and held it out until he uncomfortably agreed to shake. He stood while shaking and grumpily said, “Now I have to go wash my hands again.” I didn’t know what to say, so I remained silent as my friend and I walked outside to his truck. I told my friend, “please apologize to him; my intention wasn’t to place him in an uncomfortable position.” He told me not to worry about it…which I didn’t. (Why should I?). The next day, my friend sent me a sermon his preacher wrote about a Bible passage pertaining to extending a hand to a stranger and his initial tentative refusal to shake a strangers hand. (Me!). Plus his rudeness to such stranger. (Still me!). The sermon explained the disappointment and shame he felt second guessing a friendly gesture. So here we were; two men questioning their behavior over a newly-complicated act of simply shaking hands. Thank you COVID-19! Don’t shake hands, don’t touch your face, don’t touch door knobs, don’t leave your home, don’t forget your mask….can’t touch this, can’t touch that! Here we were, two shmucks meeting briefly. One following rules, one not. Why did I brazenly ignore a significant rule promoted by doctors, the CDC, FEMA, and Germaphobes? Did I feel indomitable? Or am I just an irresponsible dumb ass? Answers: I’ll explain. Kinda. Definitely. My explanation: Three years ago, I discovered Germ Free 24 hour hand sanitizer. One application forms an anti-microbial shield that destroys germs, bacteria & viruses (Covid-19) upon contact. As all hand sanitizer’s only destroy germs upon immediate application (while wet), Germ Free 24 goes into effect once dry. The antimicrobial shield lasts 24 hours. Only natural exfoliation will wear it off. No need for reapplication after hand washing. You can wash your hand 500 times, it will not wear off. This water-based magic hand sanitizer is 100% safe for kids and adults. Unlike all garbage hand sanitizers, Germ Free 24 will not dry skin or cause rashes. The science behind the anti-microbial hand sanitizer is absolutely brilliant. Remember, anything you place on your skin is absorbed into your blood stream within 26 seconds. One last point, in order for this hand sanitizer to place “lasts 24 hours” on its label, it had to undergo numerous laboratory testing. Imagine the liability!! One laboratory test rated Germ Free 24 safer than Vitamin C! (Tested by Bravatek Solutions, Inc. as effective against COVID 19). So was I brave, irresponsible or rude to extend my hand to a stranger? Nope, just confident I wasn’t going to infect or get infected by a stranger. I would have explained to him had he not rushed off to the restroom. Contact me for more info. Ed Kampf

Quote This! Here are a few of my favorites: • What is done in the dark eventually comes to light. (Ask any politician). • You can’t fix yourself by breaking someone else. • What is taken for granted will eventually be taken away. I love quotes! Quotes are perfect for those of us suffering from attention deficit disorder. A quote is basically an entire intellectual conversation boiled down to one line that stimulates introspection. (Hey, I think I’ll quote myself on that one!). One of my new favorite quotes: “Never take advice from someone who’s TV is bigger than their book shelf.” I receive several requests each day for a quote; however none are for my intellectual prowess. This weekend, I was approached by two individuals who suffered broken pipes during our recent freeze. Where you have collected water, you will quickly have mold. Both were understandably very concerned about mold. Both discussed remediation costs with their insurance companies and were warned about repairs in the tens of thousands. Untreated mold will eventually destroy an entire home and cause irreparable health issues. Both individuals had air quality tests completed that confirmed high mold levels. Coincidently, both individuals were told remediation would cost in the $30,000 range. There are over 10,000 species of mold living in North American homes, according to the Center for Disease (CDC). Though there are thousands of strains of mold, most belong to one of these five types; 1. Alternaria 2. Aspergillus 3. Cladosporium 4. Penicillium 5. Stachybotrys A Harvard study claimed 50% of all homes have some type of mold. In humid South Texas, that number is closer to 100%. Very rarely will an air quality sample on an inhabitable home test positive for Stachybotrys- also known as “black mold.” Black mold is the deadliest strain typically found in flooded homes that have been vacated and boarded up. Or appear in an unattended (long-term) water leak in an inner wall of an occupied home. In that case, the occupants commonly suffer various respiratory issues. Neither of the two air-sample tests provided reflected black mold, therefore expensive remediation was not required. My quotes were received with much relief from both parties, which brings another one of my favorite quotes: “Love is knowing someone’s weakness and not taking advantage of them.” Thank you for reading! Ed Kampf

I long for the time when we can look back at COVID-19 with a lighter spirit. Perhaps water it down with a splash of “dad humor.” For example: • Nothing is more relaxing than lying on the couch after a long day of being stressed on the couch. • Since being quarantined, all my jokes are inside jokes. • I could tell you a funny COVID joke, but it might take a few weeks to see if you got it. No disrespect to those who suffered from that terrible strain or lost a loved one, but we must march forward. Early into the pandemic I received a call from the president of a large restoration company that will remain unnamed. (Rhymes with “Curve Slow”). He requested a meeting to pick my brain about disinfecting/decontamination. It isn’t difficult to spot one of their green trucks circling like vultures after a major flood. Unfortunately, they are a necessary evil. Anyway, we met Saturday morning whereby I explained the basics of disinfecting and helped prepare a disinfecting protocol. (Very generous of me!). As for the “Curve Slow” guy; I would describe him as extremely self-important. Though I respect his accomplishments, he called me to help him. Not vice-versa. He could have been a tad more appreciative. Before departing, I inquired on his pricing structure. “Between $1.00 and $1.25 a square foot,” he confessed. My jaw dropped. COVID-19 is a humanitarian crisis. Unlike a hurricane where some are affected, everyone is affected by this pandemic. “You should rethink your strategy and reduce your price by 90%. Businesses are going to suffer and you can’t hit them while they are down,” I pleaded. By his blank expression I could tell it fell on deaf ears. The “disinfecting” business has exploded within the past 12 months. I have received calls from many disinfectant start-ups inquiring about my practice, solution, and fee. The meeting with “Curve Pro” and conversations with several opportunists with a spray bottle and rag inspired me to write my book, “Your Home is Making Your Sick,” How to Create a Healthy Home. www.edkampfbook.com Hygienitech Solutions is a small independent company. We support all companies and will assist in any capacity to help families and businesses during this challenging time. The most valuable commodity we have in our life is “time.” Our valuable time should be enjoyed in great health with the ones we love. Living in a healthy environment should not be cost prohibitive. (My do-it-yourself book is $18.00 + tax). We are here to help! Thank you! Ed Kampf 713-298-1449

I have a friend whom I affectionately call, Dumb Ass. “DA” for short. Throughout our long years of friendship, I have casually observed her personal and professional successes and failures. I’ve cheered her ups and offered a shoulder on her downs. Anyway, she’s never disappointed me in living up to her designated name “Dumb Ass.” I shall explain…. For several years she continually suffered health issues commonly linked to mold poisoning; sinus infections, chronic fatigue, asthma, upper respiratory issues, etc. On many occasions I insisted on checking her home. I know mold and she definitely had a mold issue. But being true to her name, she never accepted my offer. Anyway, DA purchased a new home last year, deciding to lease her old toxic home. I recently inquired on her health since she’s been in her new home. Not one health issue she excitedly explained…which basically opened the door to me saying, “I TOLD YOU SO!” Lo and behold, she called me a few days later telling me the ceiling in her former home caved leaving a huge gaping hole where she spotted black mold. A plumber confirmed a slow drip in the attic that finally wore through the ceiling. The slow drip was years in the making. Several years ago, the EPA coined a new term, “Toxic Home Syndrome.” They claimed indoor air was 200 times more polluted that outdoor air. Dust, Dust Mites, off-gassing of toxic volatile organic compounds, room deodorizers, air fresheners, my mom’s cooking, and many other sources of chemistry contribute to polluting our home. Not to mention pets, people and gassy foods. I recently read a book titled, “Your Home is Making You Sick.” It offers brilliant insight on how to convert an unhealthy home into a healthy home. The author also exposes the top ten cancer causing things in a home as well. It’s one of the most brilliant literary reads of the 21st Century. Many unnamed sources are claiming its sales should surpass The Bible within a few weeks of release. (I was privileged to review it prior to release. I know a guy!). Back to my DA friend…She’s healthy, happy, and successful and now has more time to brag about her successes on Face Book. It warms my heart…or maybe it’s just heart burn…or gas! The above mentioned book can be found @ www.edkampfbook.com . Buy several and gift them to all the Dumb Asses in your life. Thank you! Ed Kampf

Are you sleeping with the enemy? No, not your ex-spouse or whomever you recently booted from your life. I’m talking about other things that make your skin crawl. Those microscopic things that live, breed and defecate in your mattress; Dust Mites. Unlike Bed Bugs (and your ex), Dust Mites don’t carry disease or feed off your blood. Dust Mites are only interested in your exfoliated skin. That doesn’t make them harmless as those little bastards cause a shit-load (no pun intended) of adverse health effects. One Dust Mite produces approximately 20 fecal particles a day. The average one-year-old mattress contains roughly one million Dust Mites. (How old is your mattress?). Each fecal particle carries a protein to which many are allergic. Depending on the person or exposure, reactions range from itchy eyes, headaches, nasal and sinus issues, fatigue, depression, to frequently triggering asthma attacks. Dust Mites are not parasites (unlike your ex) since they only eat off your shed skin. Our technologically advanced Hygienitech System destroys those microorganisms and vacuums your mattress to 99.99% perfection. For best results; sanitize your mattress every 90 days and keep off those toxic dating sites! Ed Kampf